i love a rainy day…
Labor Day in the U.S. means the beginning of the rainiest months of the monsoon season here, September and October. Having arrived in April 2011, my first rainy season was when we had devastating floods throughout the country. In Bangkok, we watched the news that showed the metropolitan area completely surrounded by oceans of blue making its way downriver and threatening to inundate the capital. They say every year it won’t be as bad as that, and it’s generally been a quiet rainy season, but in the past 15 years or so, there has been a definite increase in the amount of rain that falls at one time, so that it’s nearly impossible for even the best designed water management system to drain all the water as it pours down.
A rainy day is the perfect time to start recording my thoughts about what life is like in Bangkok, especially for those who haven’t been here, or who haven’t ever visited Asia. Some of my closest friends are frequent travelers to Europe, but haven’t ventured over to this hemisphere, for fear of the heat, the exoticism, or other reasons. I suppose it can seem scary and the very long flight is a bit overwhelming, but anytime someone says something about a long flight, I trot out the same factoid someone told me many years ago.
For most of humanity’s existence, no one went much further than their village or their hunting ground and here we are, just over 100 years after flight was invented, and we’re able to fly through the sky in a tin can and be on the other side of this enormous globe in a few hours. Yes, jet lag sucks (and we had it bad after our return from a recent U.S. trip), but as a wise friend in LA explained to me, jet lag is soul escape. Your physical body can be transported across the planet in a half-day, but your soul needs time to catch up. It’s not at all normal in the realm of human existence to travel so far, so I try to lean into jet lag and think about how it’s a feeling that’s modern by its very definition.
Also on my mind is a quote I read the other day from James Clear (“Atomic Habits”) that resonates with me: “Guilt lives in the past. Worry lives in the future. Peace lives in the present.” I don’t know if it’s his original quote or if he borrowed it, but it’s a good one. There’s no point in feeling guilty or regretful about anything in the past; it’s over and done and there’s nothing you can do to change anything. Conversely, why worry about the future and what may or may not happen? There’s really nothing anyone can do but live in the present moment and accept it for what it is. While you’re living there in that moment, the other important lesson I’ve learned, especially studying Stoicism these past few years, is that very little is in our control, and the only thing we control is our reactions to things. We can’t control people, the weather, vexatious colleagues, troublesome family members, or anything else. All we can control is how we react in any situation and the best way to react is with as much kindness and equanimity as you can muster.
I’ll wrap up my musings for today with a Mark Manson quote: “Wisdom isn’t knowing exactly what to say. Wisdom is knowing when to shut up.” I think if I had to pick the single most valuable lesson I’ve learned in my life is that one, learning when to shut up. For most of my youth, into my 20s and 30s, I was very talkative, a veritable Chatty Cathy, who often argued for argument’s sake and who always had to be right. I was annoying, I know it and others know it, but I like to think I made up for it in other ways. Regardless, part of gaining wisdom has been learning that I gain so much more from a conversation when I truly listen, rather than being the one doing all the talking. Another aspect of getting older and gaining wisdom along the way is knowing the journey of self-improvement isn’t ever really finished, not until your last breath.
