The Power of your Words
“Words are powerful. They can create you or destroy you in an instant.”
Don Miguel Ruiz, in his book The Four Agreements, explains the first agreement.
"Be Impeccable with Your Word" means using our words without sin.
Sin, in this sense, is not about religion. It’s about the harm we do to ourselves and others through words.
Ruiz describes our minds as fertile soil, ready to absorb whatever is planted. Words are like seeds. They take root in the mind and grow into beliefs that shape who we become.
Like this:
When a mom comes home after a long day at work, her daughter, who is all sunshine and rainbows, starts singing, excited to see her mom.
Mom snaps.
"Can you shut up already?! You sound terrible!"
Just like that. The kid believes it.
She stops singing.
She grows up believing her voice is terrible.
And so she becomes hesitant, insecure, and afraid to express herself.
Have we ever done this to someone—without even realizing it? The truth is, we do this to ourselves all the time.
I grew up in a violent family. I became a difficult kid. My friends' parents saw me as emotionally aggressive. They didn’t want their kids to play with me. And one day, they told me…
“You’re a troublemaker. No one wants you. I don’t want my kid around you either.”
As a kid, I wasn’t great at math. I struggled with homework, and when I couldn’t get the right answer, someone in my family told me…
"Why are you so stupid?!" They yelled and hit my head hard. I felt ashamed and cried for my own hopelessness.
Those words and actions may have meant nothing to them.
But they didn’t realize that this would hurt me. They planted bad seeds in me. I believed adults always knew better. And over time, the seed grew into something deeply rooted.
It didn’t matter that I excelled in other subjects.
It didn’t matter who wanted to be my friend and who didn’t.
Isn’t it ridiculous? A few careless words could make me believe I was everything they said I was and didn’t belong anywhere.
I still catch myself slipping. But …
“I will plant only good seeds to cultivate positive thoughts that do not harm myself or others. I will be gentle to my heart.”
Being impeccable with words doesn’t mean I will only accept sugar-coated compliments or flattery. Some criticism is useful. It pushes me to grow.
People will always say whatever they want. They always do.
I can take feedback to improve and move forward without beating myself up. This is a gentle deal to my heart.
Whenever we catch ourselves planting a seed of fear in our minds, the moment we recognize, “Pay them no mind. These are bad seeds,” celebrate it. 🎉🙌🏼
There’s no point in holding on to the same old you. Rooted with seeds of self-doubt and judgment.
We have more room only for good seeds for this plant to grow bigger and stronger. So much room to develop.
So, how can I ever forget this love in such a frantic world?
